Strange "twilight language" around the death of actor David Carradine.

Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman weighs in here. Fascinating article.

Remember, kids: Reality is consensual and no means no.

We didn't have to make this up. Mainly because somebody else did.

Are the First Family clones?
"Human genetic material, largely undamaged after 2,400 years, has been extracted from an Egyptian mummy and has been grown in the laboratory. One 2,400-yr-old mummy of a child was found to contain DNA that could be molecularly cloned in a plasmid vector. These analyses show that substantial pieces of mummy DNA can be cloned and that the DNA fragments seem to contain little or no modifications introduced postmortem."
New York Times
April 16, 1985

Click for original collages of Barack as Akhenaton and Michelle as some other ancient Egyptian.

"Prepare for a bit of disappointment."

Holes on Mars!

Keeping in mind that The Chronic is Fortean, not Freudian: holes are almost always disappointing.

CONSPIRACY WORLD ROCKED: Elders of Zion Abandon All Sense of Protocol

The Elders of Zion, the venerable and shadowy Jewish organization that controls the international banking industry, news media and Hollywood, has announced that it is disbanding so that members can retire to Florida and live out their golden years on the golf course.

“We had a good run,” said one senior Elder, reminiscing over old photographs of world leaders in his musty, wood-paneled office at an undisclosed location. “Maybe we ran the world for just a little too long. Anyway, now it’s Obama’s problem.”

Read the full article here.

Via Covert History.

A Manson Family Creepy Crawl?

Eerie video posted by Chronic hero Adam Gorightly.

"The three stages of the neurosomatic circuit - 13. Hippy, 14. Yogi, 15. Tantric - are body-oriented and involve a deliberate symbol-stupidity. It is understandable that the five-brained person reacts against the insectoid-cyborg materialism of larval technology, the scientism that produces plastic consumerism, military-industrialism, assembly-line anonomie, and polluted over-population. But the rejection of scientific inquiry becomes a know-nothing smugness. Occultists become long-haired rednecks."-Timothy Leary

"I am a pioneer of a new kind of writing that instead of heroes and villains will have floods and bugs and stars and earthquakes for its characters and motifs." -Charles Fort

THE CHRONIC is back.

A brief contact with old school chums via Facebook prompted a lengthy hospitalization. But we're better now.

Only 1,392 shopping days till December 21, 2012!

The Chronic Staff

The Norman Rockwell Code

Apropos to nothing.

Words from a priest of the Goddess Cloacina.

Barack Obama Captures Coveted Peruvian Shaman Vote

Via Wonkette.

Even at this late date, Mongolian shamans still silent on their presidential choice. DEVELOPING HARD...