Some Internetters have noted a resemblance between poor Suri Cruise and the late L. Ron Hubbard, who would not have been above freezing his sperm and stuff, and plus he may have wanted a Crowley-inspired "moonchild."

Asked about skeptics who believe his marriage to Holmes is a public relations stunt, Cruise said, "That's laughable to me. I don't know what to say."

Winfrey asked about a book that she said "implied" Suri was not Cruise's child.

"I've had a lot of books written about me. When someone compares your daughter to Rosemary's baby — it's one thing to come after me. Say stuff about me," he said. "But when it comes to my family, my children, that's when I went, `This is off the chart.'"

Sometimes things are just so weird that even if they're not true they're still, like, true.